Culture

Beyoncé Hours

There’s a popular phrase doing the social media rounds along the lines of ‘You have the same number of hours in a day as Beyonce has’.

I’m inferring that the motivational message we’re to take from this is that we too can be as awesome, sassy, successful, rich, toned, talented etc as Beyonce, if only we put our minds to it and used all the hours at our disposal (24 in a day, the same as Queen B).

While, yes, this is factually accurate in terms of actual physical hours, minutes and seconds, it annoys the bejesus out of me!

For a start, I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that the woman has a personal chef, fitness trainer, driver, housekeeper, assistant, hell, even a personal arse wiper. And yeah, I’d have all of those things too if I was a billionaire married to a billionaire. But as someone who has to budget their finances, cook their own food, motivate (and fail) to get themselves to the gym, drive their own car and do their own washing and cleaning (I know, woe is me, right?), I really don’t have the same hours as Bey. So, sorry, ladies, if you’re aiming to be your own personal Beyonce Version 2014 then give up now, because you have no chance.

Too depressing and pessimistic for you? Let’s read that ‘motivational’ quote another way. Beyonce has not always been Beyonce. There’s no doubt that she’s worked incredibly hard to earn those billions (kudos), although marrying Jay-Z is hardly going to dent your R&B career… She slogged her way through the talent shows and competitions as a child, kept her uppity Destiny’s Child bandmates in their rightful places, wore her mother’s vile costume creations and endured media criticism of her body. She’s been at it since aged seven; today, she’s 32.

There’s nothing wrong about hard work – all 25 years of it; and there’s nothing wrong with telling people that to be successful, you have to put in the hours. So if that’s the message you take from the phrase, then huzzah! However I suspect many people aren’t seeing this as a lifestyle choice (work hard and eventually, if you’re lucky, you’ll reap the rewards); instead it’s part of a worrying new trend to slap down the achievements and choices of us ordinary folk. You aren’t Beyonce or someone famous? Then no one cares. You don’t live a fabulous celebrity lifestyle? Then why bother living at all. You don’t tick every item off your to-do list each day? Then you’re lazy.

Well, sod that. Beyonce, all credit to ya, you’re a successful woman, but I have my own life, with my own priorities, and while I might not be raking in the billions just yet, I’m not going to beat myself up about it; and you, yes, you, reading this, with your ordinary life and your ordinary priorities, you shouldn’t beat yourself up either.

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