Betsy Loves, Culture

Boys don’t cry but real men do

It’s a fact – men don’t cry as often as women do. Lucky them, some might say (while their mascara streams down their cheeks after watching an advert for Water Aid); others might be less envious, but whatever your thoughts, there’s no denying that when a man cries it’s a powerful moment.

I can remember the last time I cried with ease (the other night after a few too many vodkas; sorry Momma P!), and I’m not really a ‘crying’ sort of girl; however when I asked Mr T when he last cried, he couldn’t recall. Society has been accused of considering tears ‘unmanly’ and so admitting to it could be embarrassing but Mr T’s not a neanderthal (most of the time). I feel sure he’d tell me if he could honestly remember. We’ve been together more than two years and I’ve never seen him cry.

I recall vividly two times when Brother James and my dad both cried – separate occasions but over the same thing – me. The precise reason I’d made them cry isn’t relevant here (although maybe I’ll tell that story another time), but suffice to say, it was a pretty dark and desperate time for me and that was translated to my family. I needed to let go of a particularly harmful habit; one that my friends hadn’t been able to persuade me to, or even seeing a therapist, but the moment that my big brother and my dad cried, I knew that I would do my absolute best to never ever make the same mistake again.

It’s a decade on and I’ve never made either of them cry since (although I’ve no doubt infuriated them both!), but more over, I’ve never found myself in the same dark situation again, and that’s how powerful manly tears can be. They’re not shameful or embarrassing; they’re a real force to be reckoned with.

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