Picture the scene, if you will.
Ladies, you’ve just been to the toilet, had your wee, and now turn to the toilet roll holder, when – shock horror! – you discover that all that is there is the empty cardboard tube. If you’re lucky, there might be a few scraps of paper to salvage; otherwise, you’re left with four options.
A) shake what your momma gave you? (Or, as I overheard in one toilet, ‘shake your lettuce’ – shudder)
B) make use of the cardboard inner?
C) cry out desperately hoping a neighbouring loo-user will take pity and pass you some paper underneath the door?
D) stay there forever?
Now, if this is all too much information, I apologise (sort of), but it’s a serious hazard that most ladies will have to face. I have chosen, and will undoubtedly choose again, option B. Every. Single. Time. (After having tried option C) As far as I’m concerned, it’s just as sanitary as the paper it used to hold, albeit a rather less comfortable experience.
And I now have proof that I’m not the only one.
I was watching Alan Carr’s Chatty Man, with Ellie Goulding as a guest, and she mentioned this very dilemma, and lo and behold, she’s an option B-er too. I feel incredibly heartened by this. And judging by the woops from the audience, more than a few of the females there also opt for this. Hallelujah! (Or should that be halleloojah? Don’t groan.)
Now, why am I even telling you this? Why am I sharing this particular toilet habit? I’m not entirely sure, except to say that, we’ve all been there, ladies. So next time, shake what your momma gave you, by all means, appeal desperately to your fellow toilet-goers, but failing all else, that cardboard tube will do nicely.
(Or, of course, you could be super duper organised and carry a pack of tissues in your handbag. If this is you, I salute you. You go, girlfriend. Can I have one, please?)